You know something's wrong. They won't tell you what. Here's what to do.
It's the hardest thing about parenting a teenager: you can see they're struggling, and every time you ask, you get "I'm fine." You want to help. You don't know how. And the more you push, the more they shut down.
You're not failing. Teenagers are wired to pull away — it's developmental, not personal. But that doesn't mean you're powerless.
Most parent advice focuses on communication: "create a safe space," "ask open-ended questions." That's fine, but it puts all the pressure on the conversation. What if your teen had a daily practice that didn't require talking to you at all?
A 30-second check-in — naming what they feel, getting one small practice for the day. Private. No lecture. No "how was school." Just a moment with themselves. Over time, this builds something no conversation can: the internal capacity to work through what they're feeling.
Parenting an anxious teen is its own kind of stress, and nobody asks how you're holding up. Start your own daily check-in. Not for them — for you. You can't pour from an empty cup, and your teen is watching how you handle your own hard days.
Start with yourself.
A 30-second daily check-in for parents. Then bring it to your family.
Cornelius Mosby is the founder and CEO of Super-Self Institute, building tools that help young people — and the adults who love them.